Sam Gentle.com

Performance review

BFF Likert scale

A friend recently asked me to fill out an anonymous survey for a CFAR workshop he was doing. It contained all sorts of questions about how effective the person was, whether they responded well to criticism and contrary information, whether they think clearly and help solve problems etc. I found the whole thing quite confronting, but in that good discomfort sort of way. How often do your friends tell you your strengths and weaknesses?

It occurs to me that we recognise this problem – the essential conflict between politeness and useful feedback – in the workplace, and we use performance reviews to overcome it. The particular structure changes from company to company, but the core idea is the same: set aside a specific place and time for feedback to break that social barrier. So why not do the same in personal relationships? I admit it gives me the heebie jeebies a bit, but it could be a pretty productive way to find problems or issues that are obvious to your friends but not to you.

Or maybe you'd find out you have no flaws, which would be okay too.